My Personal Weight Struggles

We all have our own body image struggles no matter what your size. When I was in the Army I was always jumped back and forth from size 10 and size 12. The crazy part I thought I was overweight I guess because the Army wanted me to be a size freaking 6 lol. Once I had my daughter I went all the way to a size 22. I was out the Army so it was really easy to pack on the pounds. I think the reason I was so self-conscious is because I went to work overseas in Iraq as a contractor and I always ran into people that I was stationed with. I would feel as they were judging me because I was bigger than I was in the Army. Only one person said something and it really stung. It was crazy because I was never the type to care what others thought about me. So I tried fad diets and it didn’t work. I would go to the gym off and on I wasn’t dedicated.  I use to rock sweat suits all the time even colorful ones. I would wear baggy clothes thinking I was hiding something. The only thing I was hiding was my stupidity.  In 2011 I moved back to the states I just one day snapped out of my funk. I started gaining confidence. I stopped comparing my body to others. I started eating healthy and doing more cardio.  I went from size 22 to size 16. Now working overseas for 3 years I didn’t even know there was a plus size community of bloggers and magazines. I stumbled across Plus Model Magazine and I was like this is an awesome publication. I started finding out about different clothing brands and bloggers. I love how the magazine has real women in it. They got all sizes of plus. I was going on Stylish Curves, A Fat Girls Blues, Nadia Aboulhosn, and Gabi Fresh every day. These ladies are so much inspiration to me and others. Not only style but confidence. They showed me that just because you’re a plus size female does not mean that you have to dress frumpy. You can where stripes, bright colors, and show some skin. You don’t have to rock a shirt over a swimsuit. It felt good to get my mojo back. I stopped rocking sneakers and sweatpants and traded them in for heels and dresses. That was so out the norm for me so many of friends only new me as a tomboy type with a gang of sneakers. What helps me the most is to focus on myself. I can’t compare myself to what others look like. I don’t get sucked in to all that Hollywood unrealistic images of what a perfect body should be.  I accepted my curves and now I embrace them. Last summer was the first time I rocked a swimsuit without a top over it. My friend Neik Neik was having a pool birthday party and I’m telling you I did not want to you but I had to shake it off. My friend Alixis was there and she is very small and she told me to get my butt in the pool just because I had on a cute suit didn’t mean i can’t get int the pool lol.  I was fine once I got in the pool with my daughter all those negatives thoughts went  away. I even went to Jersey Shore with Neik Neik last summer and once again no top over my swim suit. We all had a blast. The crazy part is Neik Neik and Alixis doesn’t even know how she helped me out. My friend is short than me and also skinny. They helped me pick out swim suits and was honest if they were cute or not. They gave me compliments when inside I was like I got to find an excuse not to go to the party lol. You will see below what I mean about no negative Nancys in your life. My friends are all shape and sizes and none of us dwell on that because that is dumb. In 2012 I started a new job and stopped going to the gym and eating healthy and the weight I lost came back plus more. As of today I’m 240lbs. My goal is 200lbs. Guess what? I’m not beating myself up anymore. As long as I dedicate the time and effort I’ll get there it won’t happen overnight and I’m fine with it. I have a small group of friends who are on a weight loss journey too. None of us are trying to be skinny but just be healthy. I’m all for the Healthy Curves Movement  I haven’t lost my confidence and I’m going to rock the Qristly Frazier After Dark Dress like it’s nobody’s business.  I refuse to become that insecure girl again.  R.I.P. to those girl I use to be those days are over (In my Rita Ora voice).   

 Here are a few tips that have helped me out: 

1.     Don’t waste time on people that comment about your flaws.   You have a mirror you know your own body. Getting out the funk of being insecure about your body image is hard by itself you don’t need to be around people that constantly want to make your weight the butts of their jokes or point out your love handles. That will keep your self-esteem low being around negative Nancys. Don’t even associate with people that like to put others down to uplift themselves.  

2.   Focus on your strong points. What do you love about your body? Create a list of what you adore about your figure. Concentrate on your greatest characteristics and strengths.  

3.   Healthy Curves. Research a diet that will work for you. You don’t have to jump on the fad wagon. Find what exercise program works for you. If you don’t have the cash for a gym membership get with  a friend that lives in an apartment complex and use their gym. Check Groupon or Living Social they always have gym deals. Remember take it one pound at a time.  

4.   Be determined with your ambitions. No need losing your mind over superficial things i.e. clothes or being plus size. It’s ok to be a bubbly outgoing person. Focus on the positive not the negative.  If you do positive things your will get a personality enhancement.  

5.    Take a chill pill and love the skin you’re in. You have to learn to love your body. Remember you are beautiful.  

6.   If you’re a parent don’t develop the guilty syndrome. As a parent you don’t need to feel bad for taking out time for yourself to work out. Now a days gyms have a kids area for the kids to have fun while you push yourself. Mommies time keeps you sane.